I’ve been contemplating the word trust a lot these past few weeks and decided that in order for me to truly formulate my thoughts; I should put them down on paper or in this blog.
What is trust? Trust, as we all well know, is something that is given freely to just about everyone we meet and almost impossible to get back after lost.
But what leads a person to take the steps and actions of distrust? What drives a person to lie, cheat, steal or hurt us to the point of true pain? These are the questions that I have been tossing around in my head these past few weeks and questions in which I still do not know the answers to.
There have been many recent events which have led me to ponder this question now more than ever. Trust is knowing or believing that those around you are worthy to be there. Trust is being open and honest to yourself and those around you. Trust is a feeling of safety of love and of unity. Trust is being truthful in all things, even if it’s ugly. Are we truthful to ourselves or to those we love. Do we openly discuss our feelings, our hopes, our dreams with those in whom we allow into our inner circle and allow them the opportunity to show that we can trust them. Or do we put on a façade and pretend all is ok until it gets to be too much? Do we trust the person we are married to and supposedly love with our innermost feelings and thoughts? Do we trust them enough to not get mad or explode or tell us we are dumb or stupid for thinking what we think? Are we trustworthy enough to allow someone else to tell US their innermost feelings and secrets? Is trust something more than just being able to tell someone a secret?
So I ask you, as I’m on this quest…what is trust to you? What does it mean to you personally? I guess our definition of trust will be based upon our past experiences and current circumstances, which will give me a better idea of what trust can be and is.
If you would like to add your thoughts to this maddening thought process that is going through my brain, please feel free to leave your comments – the more the better I can continue to formulate what trust means to me. Then perhaps in the future we can have a follow-up discussion.
2 comments:
Trust you say. Hmmmm......
A dictionary defenition says that trust is a confident expectation that a person/thing will have certain characteristics that they/it are designed to have. So a spouse for example by design should be loving, caring, seeking the well being of his/her counterpart, through better and worse (cause it's not just one or the other), and to be selfless in all aspects of the relationship.
We all know that when we expect something, and it doesn't happen, is the root of all disappointment. So when we trust in something, we expect it to be a reality, much like faith.
The Human condition brings many options to be what you are designed to be, or to follow the crooked path. We are designed to become like our Heavenly Father is, and we are here on earth to learn and grow, and He trusts that we will do so. We all let Him down at points in our life, and lose a bit of that trust, for we are not what we are designed to be at those times. Forgiveness is the first step to reestablish trust in any relationship, and then we must change in order to grow that trust again.
Janelle and I have a very strong bond of trust because we carefully try to be what we ought to for the other. It is only in being what we are Heavenly designed to be that we can truely have the trust that so many seek for in this life.
Okay after reading your post a couple of times, and being able to compare different sentences to different parts of my life, I can only come up with the following: Trust is circumstantial. For instance, I trust my husband in every sense of the word, every sense that you described. But I do not have a single friend that I could say I trust the same as I trust Orion. And I'll even add that I think this is the way it's SUPPOSED to be.
In another instance, I do have a few good friends that I trust in certain ways. Some I trust with personal things, others I don't. And I suppose the only reason I choose not to trust some is because I judge their character--do they gossip a lot, do the actually care about what I'm saying, or are they just interested in "the story." Which then leads me to an entire other issue because, well, we're not supposed to be judging others (unrighteously, at least). But, I digress.
There are plenty of people that I trust not to physically harm me or my family or my home. But, I don't trust some of these same people not to emotionally hurt me, or say bad things about my family. I could specifically even name the people I'd put in this category. And my reasons for this are because it's happened. And it happens a lot.
There are those I serve with in Church, and I trust them to do their part, but, I wouldn't trust some of them with my personal thoughts or innermost feelings. And I guess the reason for this one is just because I don't know them well enough.
The older I get and the more involved with my own family I am, I have less and less intimate involvement with anyone other than my husband and children. It took a while after having Brooklyn for us to understand why we were feeling that people around us were becoming less trustworthy to us, or, "changing categories," if you will. Then we realized that when people change--as we inevitably do sometimes--we can't expect people to relate to us the same as they always have. There are, again, a select few friends that will always fit into a mostly-trustworthy category, but, even that list gets a little shorter the older I get. I suppose this last thought could seem a kind of sad one, but, the truth is that others take their place. When I am most interested in my job as a mom, I can't expect my non-mom friends to understand that, and so I can't fully trust them to respect my new ideals. However, in now having common interests with lots of other mom friends, I DO expect them to respect my mommy thoughts. I feel like I'm making no sense and talking in circles--this is a very difficult topic to write about, Janelle!!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that trust within the family is most important. Everyone outside of my family, even those good friends, are pretty much just in a quasi-trustworthy group. And I'm okay with that. Of course everyone needs supportive people around, but, that doesn't mean they ALL have to be worthy of hearing our inner struggles. Again, as I get older and spend less and less time with anyone other than my little family, I don't have a big need for intimate trust with anyone else. I appreciate my friends for the advice, support, and laughter they bring to my life.
I still feel like I'm not saying this right. Maybe if we continue this discussion in person sometime I can get the words to make more sense! :)
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