Twenty Seven

Holy Cow, am I really 27 already? It seems like yesterday that I was backpacking around Europe, coming and going as I pleased, riding the train until I saw something that sparked my interest, then hopping off and exploring the sites. And here I am 7 years later trying to figure out what happened to my life?!

I can honestly say that I have very few regrets within these last seven years. I found a cute guy, clubbed him over the head and dragged him back to my cave and somehow convinced him I was the best thing that would ever happen to him. How I managed to do that, is beyond my real understanding. We then bought our dream car, one we thought we’d never allow ourselves to purchase in the future with kids in tow; a house, which I adore but am realizing is too small for me and my many hobbies and with all the luck in the world, have discovered we are both fairly healthy.

Though, life doesn’t always come easy. We’ve hit our bumps too. Working full time and going to school is never an easy task. Ben and I have both had our bouts of illness, mine being no where near his encounter with Lyme disease. We’ve hit a few ruts with jobs, callings and the majority of our friends up and moving on us. It’s a sad day when your best friends up and move on to another adventure, leaving you behind.

But what, you ask, have I done in the past year? Seeing as how I’m another year older, what have I accomplished or done that has made me a better person? I’m not really sure. Life has a funny way of changing you when you rarely notice.

In the past year, I’ve flown on a private plane, spent my summer in Aspen, Colorado enjoying the outdoors like I’ve not been able to do in years. I’ve tackled a new calling and attempted to help shape a group of teenage girl’s lives for the better. I’ve met new friends and learned why I get cold sores. I’ve seen both my family and Ben’s and realized that there isn’t enough time in the day to do everything I would like to. I’ve dusted my elliptical machine more than I’ve used it, and read fewer books than ever. I’ve taken up a new hobby which is appreciated by my husband but I’m sure makes him wonder where we are going to put it all if my rampage continues.

I’ve laughed hard and cried a little too. I’ve wished a million times I could move and yet, had those moments of wonder and amazement at how one day, I’ll be able to leave this place after living here so long. I’ve gone to the beach once and only live 20 minutes away, but hiked up mountains 2000 miles away, and endured things that I often thought I couldn’t. I’ve had doubts and fears along with wonder and amazement and often wished there were more that I could do to help others. I’ve learned new talents and taught others too and taken a million photographs of all the things that matter to me.

But the one thing that this past year has taught me is that I can hope, and look forward to the future, but must live in the now. I’ve realized that what happens today does not happen tomorrow, and that I, in the end, make and create my own destiny. That my destiny is up to me, whether I will have a good day or a bad day, happiness or sorrow, that I am ultimately the chooser of my own path.

I have realized that through thick and thin, I have that one person, who will stand by me no matter what. Who will council me, guide me and be my sounding board. I have that one person who lays on my side of the bed first, so that when I get in, it’s all warmed up, who cuts down stupid trees that I hate and completely redesigns an entire room because I hate the color on the walls.

And then it hits me that it is because of him, that I am who I am today. I am a calmer, softer person than I was seven years ago. I am a person who does not take offense and tries to not give offense. I am a person who is slower to anger and quicker to forgive, because I have that one special person who never gives up on me. And it is him, who I should thank for making me, the person in whom I’ve always wanted to be – me.

To all this I say: bring on another year, with new adventures, stories and excitement. Because for me, I can do anything and endure anything as long as that one special person remains by my side and lifts me up when the hard days come.